My story

I used to make the joke that my name, Sadie, could be thought of as "sad" and "die," which honestly wasn't a joke for most of my life. That's who I thought I was.

I was sad. And I wanted to die. Sounds dramatic, but it was true.

I was raised in a good family in Colorado, had nice siblings, and excelled in many sports, extra-curricular activities, & music endeavors. I achieved accolades throughout my education (even as a young one) and always seemed to have it all together. So how did this Sadie fit with the “sad” and “die” Sadie?

Well… I was obsessed with being perfect… and I feared almost everything… so I PERFECTED the art of BEING AFRAID. I hid myself. I blocked out all pain I had experienced (which was a lot). I stuffed it. Buried it. Ignored it. I was downright scared so I did anything I could to hide and run away from it—even moved halfway around the globe at age 19, thinking “maybe my pain won’t find me.”

That turned out to be a disappointing hope …

At 22, I received the “wake up” call.

Maybe you can relate … God called & said “Sadie, what’s going on here? Don’t you remember who you were meant to be? ”

I was working in real estate in Hawaii—leading a listing team & training to become a copycat of one of the top agents in the country. At 22, having just graduated college early, you can imagine my pride. Having set myself up with incredible opportunities and great role models from whom to learn, I thought I was doing it right! Yet my intuition wouldn’t leave me alone…Sadie, this isn’t right. Sadie, something is wrong here. Sadie, something needs to change. And just like my pain, I ignored it.

Then one random evening, one week before my 23rd birthday, I was home alone innocently cutting potatoes for dinner. I mishandled the knife, cut my finger, collapsed to the floor later realizing once I had passed out, I had hit my head on the front once & the back twice, woke up hyper ventilating, shaking, convulsing, & with no recollection of who I was, where I was, and what had just happened.

God sent me a severe concussion.

One which debilitated me in every way and left me bed-ridden with some functional memory loss & a great deal of pain. It took me awhile to appreciate the gift in this experience, as at the time, it felt like death. Everything was stripped away. I realized that all the time I had invested PERFECTLY into BEING AFRAID—blocking, stuffing, burying, ignoring, hiding, covering up, and running away from all the pain that had accumulated—it was all still there… waiting for me. And I got to sit with it. Quiet. With no lights, no conversations, no sound, no single distraction (not even Netflix).

I was miserable. Isolated. Sad. Living on a rock in the middle of the Pacific with a life I had created. A life of no family for thousands of miles, few connected friendships, a relationship with a man, who bless his heart, didn’t know how to love me, and a life that just stressed. me. out.

I finally obligeD the calling.

My intuition had been telling me for quite awhile to make some major shifts, while my pride and stubbornness had their own way of ruling my life. I chose to take this entire experience as a gift from God to shift everything in my life circumstance. I surrendered all my belongings, my relationship, the beautiful islands, & moved to San Diego a couple months into healing. I could be near family and though utterly directionless, decided to travel a WAY different path in hopes to amplify my healing, find my true purpose, & begin living it.

Through my endeavor to heal the “sad” and “die” part of myself that I had neglected all my life, I, like the person I am, dove head first into Pandora’s box—opening up deep wounds, memories, & traumas I knew I had, & discovered many repressed wounds, traumas, memories & experiences that were stored in my body & locked away in my mind. It took a great deal of healing modalities, healing facilitators, mentors, friendships, support, and love to climb my mountains. And I continue to climb, every day, well-equipped for the journey.

One thing I remember:

At no point was I ever promised it’d be easy, I was promised it’d be worth it though. And boy was it.

I truly believe I’m a work in progress, just like everyone! I’ve chosen a healing path; to put everything I have—time, energy, emotion—into the work it takes to view my life situations and myself differently… from a perspective of love & learning.

While the journey continues… I love getting to support people now as I can truly empathize with many people on multiple levels. From feelings of abandonment, rejection, neglect, feeling utterly unloved, judged, unworthy, not good enough, unaccepted, ignored, I have learned to see past the illusion of my past & my pain. I believe though pain itself may not be a gift, what we choose to do with the pain, can be.

“All choices lead to wisdom.”

Pain is not something I’m inherently immune to. And neither are you. It’s also something neither worthy of our attention nor our fear. Rather something worthy of our gratitude & joy. As I’ve continued to grow more & more into who I am, I see clearly I am more than my name. I am much more than this physical body. And just like you, I am a gift to this world. I came here with gifts to help and guide my fellow people out of pain & into greater union with love and themselves.

It is truly a passion of mine to reach people who begin this journey of understanding that there’s more to life—even more emphatically—that there’s more to THEMSELVES than they may realize.

Pain can trap us. And love can free us.

I believe I’m simply here with the tools and gifts to show you how.